AMA about being OCD

[tombombodil]

Do either of you find that any of your compulsions are good in nature, but are excessive? For example you see cleanliness or being organized associated with OCD and I believe most people would consider someone who is clean/organized to have a good trait.

Do you find any of your compulsions are not "good" persay, but just different behavior? Like not enjoy odd numbers displaying on the thermostat or closing cabinets five times (as said in another example).

What do you think the point is where someone should seek medical help for OCD or, in general, compulsory behavior?

First question: There's nothing inherently bad with a lot of the compulsive actions people with OCD have. The reason it becomes a problem isn't because of the act itself, it's because the act begins to infringe upon the wellbeing of the person in question.

Being neat is one thing, but being late for work everyday because everything in your kitchen has to be perfectly symmetrical is dysfunctional. Liking to be clean is one thing, washing your hands so often your skin becomes raw and cracked to the point of bleeding and you spent 4 hours cleaning everyday instead of, say 45 minutes is dysfunctional.

Second question: Similar to the first, the actual act itself isn't the problem, it's how emotionally and mentally fixated on it we become. If the one truth of a healthy lifestyle is "everything in moderation" people with OCD have very unhealthy lives when it comes to unmanaged compulsions and obsessions.

Third question: there really is no hard fast line. If it's interfering with your life in such a way that it has become incredibly difficult or even impossible to complete the necessary functions of your daily life, then yeah, you should probably seek help. If you wash your hands 50 times a day, but it doesn't bother you or anyone else and it doesn't stop you from doing tasks that are required of you, don't waste your time and money trying to cure an essentially benign affliction.

What constitutes "bad enough to warrent medical attention" will vary from person to person, but in my experience, you'll know when it's reached that point.

Thanks for the questions.

[IronJelly]

Do either of you find that any of your compulsions are good in nature, but are excessive? For example you see cleanliness or being organized associated with OCD and I believe most people would consider someone who is clean/organized to have a good trait.

Do you find any of your compulsions are not "good" persay, but just different behavior? Like not enjoy odd numbers displaying on the thermostat or closing cabinets five times (as said in another example).

What do you think the point is where someone should seek medical help for OCD or, in general, compulsory behavior?

1) My need to have a clean bathroom is probably good in nature. Nobody complains anyway. It makes public restrooms a headache and a half, but at home, my bathroom is also the guest bathroom, and guests always know it's as clean as steaming water can get it.

2) As for finding some of the compulsions to just be different behavior, I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean, do I have compulsions that are entirely internal and don't actually affect anyone outside of myself, then yes. For example, I manually quit all of my applications before leaving work on Friday. I know that a shut down will also do that, but I still feel the compulsion to go through and Quit/Exit everything. Doesn't take much more time, and doesn't bother anyone. I's just an odd habit really.

3) A lot of this depends on the person's tolerance for help and other people, as well as their age and day-to-day activities. Honestly though, as soon as your habits are keeping you from sleeping or causing you to be late to commitments, it's probably time, as escalation happens quickly. A few minutes late to school? no problem. A few minutes late to work? Possibly an issue.

[Burning]

When people are aware you have OCD, is there something they do that they seem to think is helpful or supportive, but strikes you as wrong-headed or annoying?

[Magmoo]

Are there any misconceptions regarding OCD you'd like to dispel?

[IronJelly]

When people are aware you have OCD, is there something they do that they seem to think is helpful or supportive, but strikes you as wrong-headed or annoying?

About one in maybe 20 people who learn that I go through this think they should ask about damn near everything that happens near me if it's a trigger or not. This doesn't really help at all, and only draws my, and everyone else's attention to it.

Also not helpful: putting things in order if you aren't actually sure the order i want. I have one friend, went to organize CDs with me, and put numerical titles AFTER the alphabet. That set me off in a bad way.

Are there any misconceptions regarding OCD you'd like to dispel?

Sure. First: the D in OCD is Disorder. Not Depression. I can be happy if I want, and I can even have a compulsion and not have my mood change much. If I'm grumpy, it's probably more likely to do with having no coffee or something

Second: I've never seen a correlation between all of the triggers. I can't predict the things that are going to set me off.

Third: It's a real disorder, medically diagnosable and everything. It's easy to just assume the sufferer is quirky (which is a word i regularly use to describe myself anyway), but that's not a complete diagnosis, in much the same way that a child with Autism is not just a slow learner.

[Peetiedog]

Similar to the post above this post...

How can I help my wife when her OCD is triggered?
My wife has the OCD that has her washing and cleaning to extremes. We have been married for 10 years. During times of stress (career, child rearing, money, difficult family, death of her father) she has become triggered (her term) more often. I could use your thoughts of how to approach someone with OCD to help her get to a place where we can deal with the cause of the stress and not just the symptom (a.k.a. The triggered OCD).

**note- i am a long time podcast listener who joined to participate in these AMA duscussions**

[Chad]

**note- i am a long time podcast listener who joined to participate in these AMA duscussions**

Welcome to the forums!

[tombombodil]

Similar to the post above this post...

How can I help my wife when her OCD is triggered?
My wife has the OCD that has her washing and cleaning to extremes. We have been married for 10 years. During times of stress (career, child rearing, money, difficult family, death of her father) she has become triggered (her term) more often. I could use your thoughts of how to approach someone with OCD to help her get to a place where we can deal with the cause of the stress and not just the symptom (a.k.a. The triggered OCD).

**note- i am a long time podcast listener who joined to participate in these AMA duscussions**

This is the kind of thing you would want to seek professional input on. Since everyone and every situation is so different, it would be irresponsible for me to give any sort of advice without knowing a kid more about the people involved.

Some simple things though: Obviously, don't be flippant or casual about it, ever.

If you've established that it is a problem that you both want to address, rather than telling her to stop (when she's doing it), point out that she's doing it, gently I'm a way that sounds like "hey just a reminder".

All of the advice for actually tackling a compulsion head on is in a previous post of mine, along with the disclaimer that it probably shouldn't be attempted without some guidance.

The most important thing however is that she needs to realize that it's a problem, and has to want to fix it; and not just say she wants to. If she isn't on-board on at least some level, no amount of support or other outside intervention will amount to anything.

I wish you both the best of luck. And thanks for signing up to participate

[sbonner]

**note- i am a long time podcast listener who joined to participate in these AMA duscussions**

Welcome!

If you make a post in the introductions section, you'll get a lot more of these welcome messages, if you want them.

[Chad]

Thanks for sharing guys! We appreciated it!