Other gear grinding moments - As a player:
1. When I make a move based off the little facts that I know and the tone of the game (this feels like it would fit the setting), and the GM snowballs it into a terrible choice.
2. When I have success hidden behind multiple rolls to increasingly make success less and less likely.
3. When success for a plan is is minimized (especially if you hid success behind multiple rolls!) as to be entirely non-impacting.
4. When players cannot agree on plans, or when one player keeps on denying plans without alternatives, or when planning takes too long and we just need to do stuff.
5. When players are asked or are given time to plan something but the DM does not give meaningful information or only provides misinformation. Bonus points if the DM adjusts the hidden information to specifically counter the players' plans.
As a GM:
1. When I have an NPC in front of everyone filled with plot and info, and all the players want to do is belittle, harass, or make fun of the NPC. It can be fun sometimes, but guys - try to talk to folks and make personal connections.
2. Every-man-for-themselves in combat. Support each other. If someone calls out that they are in trouble, help out. I'm certainly not going to pull my punches.