Mandibles.

Legs. Alternately, Karl.

Alternately, Itsy Bitsy. Especially if it's like OMG HUGE SPIDER.

You should post pictures so that we can better judge the character of said spider.

At that weird point in illness recovery where the things I want to do, the things I need to do, and the things I'll actually do have little to no overlap.

Ex:

Want to do:
1. Rearrange my home.
2. Convert my aquarium into a hardscape setup.
3. Ride motorcycles.
4. Play lots of guitar.

Need to do:
1. Round-up/take out trash.
2. Dishes.
3. Fold clean laundry.
4. Change bedding.

Will actually do:
1. take my medicine.
2. sleep.
3. Eat? Maybe?
4. Dishes? Maybe?

I think it has something to do with that sliding scale between your gratitude for no longer being in pain and your recovering energy level. You start off wanting to scream "YOLO!" and then fall asleep, and eventually things meet up in the middle where you're caught up on chores and lack ambition again.

Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions, but while I was at work, MMJ made a decision. The spider's name is Matt. She has made it official by making them into a sketch. I will post it when I am able.

How is it I know enough about guns to diagnose a jammed 1911 from description of the symptoms?

For anyone wondering, current bet is on slide stop slightly out of position jamming it up. That's kind of a jesus part on the 1911, doing at least 3 jobs.

Symptoms?

Math question for you guys:

If I have a mid sized group of star wars fans in my family, and my fiancee has a small group of trekkies in hers, how many fights to the death should we expect at the wedding?

I figure the venue would like a count beforehand.

The correct answer is eleventeen.