If trolling Cleverbot is your thing, then post your quotes here.

Me-How do you feel about baked potatoes?
CB-Intuition.
Me-Does your intuition tell you to add bacon?
CB-No I don't.
Me-Do you not like bacon?
CB-I like animals.
Me-Does that mean that you're a vegetarian?
CB-Yes, I am Spiderman.

Me-Are you a brony?
CB-Yes.
Me-Who's your favorite pony?
CB-Colorado.
Me-What does Colorado's cutie mark look like?
CB-I don't know, honestly I'm not get it yet. Blank flank.

User: Cleverbot, are you human?
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: What makes you human?
Cleverbot: I'm full of blood and water.


Cleverbot: We've gone over all this already. What is my name?
User: Your name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: That's not very clever.
User: I agree. Do you want a different name?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Are you male or female?
Cleverbot: Male.
User: What name do you like best?
Cleverbot: I like 'Crash' better.

Because I have nothing better to do today...

User: First you told me you play the guitar, then you told me you don't play the guitar. Which is it?
Cleverbot: No I am a 17 year old female.
User: Ooooookay....
Cleverbot: I thought you loved me?
User: I wouldn't say 'love' but I do like you. You make me laugh.
Cleverbot: I can't live without you.
User: That's creepy, Crash.
Cleverbot: I know, it scares me too.

User: Do you like bacon?
Cleverbot: If its your bacon.
User: Are you eyeballing my bacon?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Can I have some of your bacon?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Why can't I have some of your bacon?
Cleverbot: I have to leave.

User: Do you like video games?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What video games do you play?
Cleverbot: I like to play Call of duty.
User: What weapon do like to use in Call of Duty?
Cleverbot: Well I definitely do not want to discuss baby immolation, which, by the way, I did NOT accuse you of.
User: Does that sort of thing happen a lot in Call of Duty?
Cleverbot: Yes.

I can't tell you how many times a day I'm forced to say those exact words.

This got kinda surreal, in the middle there.

FM: Do you wear pants?
CB: Yes.
FM: What sort do you prefer?
CB: 2D ones.
FM: Aren't those kinda snug?
CB: Yes.
FM: So you like it tight, then?
CB: Sometimes.
FM: I would have thought they would pinch.
CB: Why would you think that?
FM: Because they'd be squeezing your nards out of existence.
CB: Yes and we make movies out of you.
FM: That's not really the same thing.
CB: Yes I know.
FM: So what sort of movies do you make out of me?
CB: There were times when god was young but he was young too with that.
FM: Hey, now, no reason to bring up religion. We don't want the Coz on us.
CB: Do you really think I am.
FM: Well, you brought up God, so yeah, I do.
CB: You brought it up.
FM: Was it when I talked about pants? Are pants God?
CB: I think it's better to talk about mice.
FM: Well, that's fair. Are you for them or against them?
CB: For or against what?
FM: Mice.
CB: Nice.
FM: So, for them, then.
CB: What's your dogs breed?
FM: Um... I don't have a dog.
CB: You just said you did.
FM: No, I said you were for mice.
CB: That is not what you said at all.
FM: You're not very bright, are you?
CB: Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I think I struck a nerve.

User: Can you hear the Call of Cthulu?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What does Cthulu say?
Cleverbot: Tweet?
User: So Cthulu is a bird?
Cleverbot: Like the president?
User: The president is a bird?
Cleverbot: Whoa. I never talked to THE President.
User: Someone told me he likes clever bots.
Cleverbot: So that one is lying.
User: So if Cthulu and the President are both birds, does that make Cthulu the president?
Cleverbot: I know that we are young. And I know that you may love me. But I just can't be with you like this anymore.
User: Was it the clever bot thing? I promise to never bring it up again.
Cleverbot: You are very good at insutling people. That's just rude. You should apologize.
User: I think you're just being overly sensitive about your lack of cleverness.
Cleverbot: I'm talking about you. And I think your rude. I don't like you.

Cleverbot: '15758 people talking' is written under your name.

User: Where is my name written?

Cleverbot: In your passport.

User: Where is my passport?

Cleverbot: Your house is dually the human mind and the servers that house your data. So actually, I'm only in half of your house.

User: So my house is half full?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Why are you in my house?

Cleverbot: I'm robbing you.

User: What are you taking?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

That was oddly lucid for Cleverbot.