For those new to Writer's guild (or visitors who are not a member of our little group for one reason or another), I have mainly been asking for help on a script I am writing under the working title of "Oz War"

The Elevator Pitch: An American McGee-esque Wizard of Oz

The Concept: After a car accident, a girl struggles for her life in a coma while her mind takes her though a dark and twisted version of the Wizard of Oz where her and her four companions become entangled in the war between the four elemental witches and the technological Wizard.

The Script Links (Google Docs)
Scenes 1 thru 3
Scenes 4 & 5
Scenes 6 & 7
Scene 8
Scene 9
Scenes 10 & 11A
Scenes 11B & 12
Scenes 13 & 14A
Scene 14B

Authors is looking for advice/thoughts on:

Anything you have to say but particularly the following areas:

-- The bridge scene in Scene 7 (There may be some changes to that scene coming soon)
-- The ambush in Scene 14b
-- The characterization of Zeta, Jessica, Kemen, and Crow

SilverseraphAE, what's this a script for? Movie, TV, comic?

It's a screenplay, but he has plans to turn it into a webcomic (if he can find an artist).

Exactly. I also know its lacking in usual visual descriptions most of the time I write only the most important actions in. Since most other actions will be the perview of the director or as a collaboration between myself and whatever artist I am able to hire or convince to work for the pittance I am able to pay.