Two-twenty, two-twenty-one. Whatever it takes.

Fear the Boot Word of the Week: idiosyncrasy.

Thanks for doing this topic. I appreciated hearing about this situation from both sides of the table. I cannot say enough how awesome the GM of the game I'm joining is for happily agreeing to add me, even though it brings the group up to seven players. Saragon said that when he broached the subject the GM's response was "Sure, we'd be glad to have her."

I was talking to the only other "Non-Gamer Wife" in our group of friends the other day, and she jokingly accused me of selling out and abandoning her. I replied that the Stockholm syndrome had finally kicked in. But in all seriousness, we were talking about how, strangely enough, the two of us have become somewhat outcast from our social circle because we don't game. Our core social group consists of about five couples, about half of whom have been our best friends for the past decade, but gradually over the past few years the group interaction has shifted almost entirely to RPG-based discussions and gaming. She was saying that she feels left out and unconnected from everyone whenever we manage to get together, because the two of us who aren't in games aren't included in the conversation. She said that she had recently realized that she couldn't remember the last time she talked to any of our male friends, and that it seemed like roleplaying had replaced all of the interests and activities that have held us together since college. I live closer to some of them than she does, so I do occasionally see them outside of what we have dubbed "gaming weekends", but I know exactly how she feels.

Whichever pleases the GM more

The Heinlein Novel was Stranger in a Strange Land. Character Jubal Harshaw.

On a second note. A site I have been on that I find useful for gaming stuff is Obsidian Portal. You can put all the notes for your campaign up that players can use, section off parts for the GM only. Keep running adventure logs from the players perspective. Also has a section for characters, both NPCs and PCs.

Bit of history. For some reason, my group for the longest time had a cursed seat. We could get 4 players plus a DM/GM no problems. Group would be stable and run fine. But, it's nice to have someone in that 5th seat for those weeks when someone can't make it. Sure, you can play with 3, but, depending on the system, that can get a bit dicey. 5 just seems to make things run smoother.

But, again through no fault of anyone's, whenever we put someone in that 5th player chair, they invariably quit within a few weeks or possibly a month. Time, after time after time.

Fortunately, that curse seems to have lifted recently and we've managed to keep that 5th chair warm for almost six months now.

Anyway, sorry about that meander, I'll get to my point. My point is, I've had to break in a LOT of players over the years. Sometimes to fill that 5th chair, we'd let two or three players into the group, with the thought that even if a couple quit, we'd still have that 5th. Never happened.

I actually calculated that in the first three years that I DM'd online over OpenRPG, I went through just shy of 100 players.

So, this episode did hit home a fair bit. I have to say, it's all great to be welcoming and all that, and sure, the new person can be a bit aggressive to make a space in the group, but, there is the other side of the coin. Take a bit of time to get to know the group first. If the group all wants hack and slash and you want high thespianism, maybe it would be better to not join this group.

And vice versa of course. Granted, in the specific case you guys were talking about, there's hopefully a fair bit of conversation going on anyway. But, if you're new to the group, do not expect the group to change to fit your style. You can certainly expect some degree of accomodation, but, be realistic.

In RPGs, the odd man out is always wrong.

PS